Mommy Life and Lifestyle

What I miss being a child?

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As this Mother’s Day is fast approaching, I am kind of lost in reflection as I always do around this time. I feel happy to be a mother to a lovely, charming daughter, but I still think of my childhood.

Here are some thoughts that are creeping up in my mind of late.

It’s weird how age catches up with us without a warning. How with our lost childhood, we stopped being a child as well. We realize how beautiful our childhood was when we are already grown up and can do nothing about it. That’s the irony of life.

Now as I sit observing my little daughter and the things that she does, I miss being a child.

From where did the bountiful energy come? To play tirelessly. When I was a 5-year old, I knew only hopping, jumping and running around, and wondered why my mother never hopped or jumped. I would take stairs two at a time, but she climbed slowly. I am, sadly, the mother now.

Never thought about tomorrow. Tomorrow was a word that didn’t hold any relevance. All that mattered was now. And now was very beautiful and full of exciting things. I wanted to play in ‘now’, eat in ‘now’ and sleep in ‘now. Tomorrow was another world and not very important.

Lived free as a bird. Responsibility was another word that I didn’t know or care about. I ate when I felt hungry, drank when I was thirsty and slept when my body told me too. Had I completed my homework? It was not my headache but my mama’s.

I couldn’t care less for the money. All I was interested in was collecting coins for my little pink piggy bank to buy chocolates, toys and more toys. Such happy times were they! Sigh!

I loved eating. Carbs, proteins, cholesterol, LDL, HDL, diabetes…what’s that? If my weight increased, that was a good sign, right? Why oh, why, my food has become poison now?

When sun meant playing outside, rains meant getting soaked and mud meant getting dirty. When did things change? Why do I now feel hot when it’s sunny, avoid puddles and grumble when I see dirt?

I shop and shop, but I have nothing to wear. What beautiful days were they when shopping meant buying chocolates, the talking doll that my neighbour had and the same tiffin box/pencil box/water bottle that my friend carried to school.

When good and bad were simple. Anybody who gave me sweets was good and anybody who didn’t share was bad. Anybody who played with me was good and anybody who shouted was bad. That was the only good and bad I knew, and not this good touch-bad touch.

I had so much time; to watch a snail’s journey in the park, to look for the lost cricket ball even when there was no light and to pick up fights for a friend. Why now the time slips away so quickly? And why I never have the time to do these things?

When little things made me happy. The pretty colours of a butterfly or a rainbow in the sky, the pink candyfloss and the 50 paise toffee on a birthday.

When life was simple. My day started with my parents and ended there. There was no problem that didn’t get solved sitting in the lap of my father and there was no hurt that didn’t go away when my mother kissed it. The arms and laps of my parents were my safe-house. Sadly, as I grew bigger than their arms and laps, so did my problems.

Sometimes, I wonder why did I want to grow up at all? Weren’t those days better? I miss being a child. Do you too?

 

10 Comments

  1. carving for childhood? true, the days of being a child is always a blessing. While childhood is loving, motherhood is daunting with hopes and more hopes from all ends. loved the way you have split the desires and depairs.

  2. I know, childhood we have already seen, enjoyed and loved. Motherhood we are experiencing with each passing day, sometimes it’s smooth like a walk in the park, and sometimes it’s like running for dear life in the Jurassic Park. LOL!!

  3. Such a beautiful post. And so true. ‘From where did the bountiful energy come? ‘ -This is what I miss the most too!! We complicate things for ourselves no…and then wish things were simpler! The irony of life!

    I never thought of mom and dad as people with human emotions – they were my protectors. And yet when I think of taking on the role of a mother in the future…I wish my children have empathy…:(

  4. So very true Ashwini! We complicate our life and then yearn for the simpler life!! Ashwini, kids learn what we emulate. I am sure they will learn good values from you.

  5. Anagha Yatin

    Quite a reflection Anshu. It mirrored the thoughts of all of us who are made speechless with same question, “why did i grow up?” We struggle to find answer to it and we know there is none…
    I so miss those days like you, following the shiny, glittery and sticky trail left behind by the snail in the garden. Time never was a costly resource then.
    Wonderful post.

  6. Oh my this is lovely Anshu. Indeed childhood had such simple realities. Why have these disappeared with growing up?

  7. Thanks so much. I am glad it resonated with you, Anagha! As I look at my daughter and her laidback and unhurried attitude towards life, I wonder what happened to me. I was too like her some time back (I mean many years back 😉 )

  8. That’s a question, believe me Shalini, I ask myself every day. And wonder why can’t I go back to those wonderful days.

  9. Awwww me tooo…again you have reflected my thoughts di… homework was really my mummy’s tension not mine and so was giving exams..what to cook tomorrow??what dress to wear??is there enough veggies n groceries?? Did the maid come??all these thoughts never occurred to us till we were kids..wish I could go back in time and laze around with tinkle and Chandamama comics without a worry in the world..🙈

  10. Seriously, those were some days! I tell my daughter fairly regularly that I miss those lovely days when I was at my mom’s house. Poor girl, she doesn’t know what I am talking about. 🙂

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