It’s raining babies. Seriously, I see pregnant ladies everywhere. What’s more! My daughter is coming home with sweets in her school bag every other day, because one of her classmates had a baby in their house. With so much baby talk happening around you, it certainly gives you ideas!
After my daughter, I had vowed to myself, NEVER AGAIN. And day after day, I only renewed this vow. One child was enough. I could manage my emotions, career and finances just fine. And then something started changing when my daughter turned 4.
My motherly hormones, which I thought had quit my body for good, started resurfacing from whichever dark corners of my body they had been hiding so far. The idea of a teeny-weeny baby cradled in my arms, sucking at my breasts (so what if they are gravity-infected) and making me a mother all over again has suddenly started looking appealing. And the news of pregnant ladies and the babies being born in my close circle of friends and family isn’t helping matters much.
And thus started the inner conflict. Should I have another one? Isn’t one enough?
One more child translates to:
- lesser time – I have a poor sense of time management and am already struggling with it when it comes to my daughter,
- lesser finances – My hubby has recently quit her job. He is officially a Startup entrepreneur; I know it is admirable, but it also means there is no monthly checks coming our way now.
- poorer health – It has taken me more than 2 years to get my body and health in shape. Another pregnancy at my age (I am on the wrong side of 30s) could be disastrous and could lead to diabetes and/or blood pressure.
Well, but the emotion of having a second child is so great, that I could not rule out the option. So I went to a gynecologist. He was very encouraging. Said – Being over 35 is not the end of the world. There are many women who get married at 35 and go on to have a child. However, if you are planning, do not dither now. But, he also told me the higher chances of conceiving a baby with Down’s Syndrome. Apparently, once you are 30, the chances of having a baby with Down’s Syndrome are 1 in 1000, it increases to 1 in 350 once you are over 35 and to 1 in 100 once you cross 40.
Whether I want a second child is secondary, what matter is that I do not want a SPECIAL child. The pain would be too much for me to handle. Secondly, if I am thinking of a companion for my daughter; I am not sure how she would feel about having a special child for a sibling.
If at all, such a syndrome is detected early on in the pregnancy, and we get the baby aborted, it would be so heartbreaking (I know, because I have gone through it once and have no intention of going through it EVER AGAIN). I AM SCARED.
One of my friends told me not to think much and just jump into it. HAVE FAITH, he said! May be that’s what I need. A little faith in myself and the super energy around me.