Kids and parenting

My daughter tells her nanny things that she doesn’t tell me

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The other day, my daughter’s nanny a 20-year old girl came to me, and told me, “Aanya wants to have cauliflower-peas subzi for lunch!”

I was surprised. I had asked my daughter a few minutes ago, what she wanted for lunch, and she didn’t reply. This was the second time this had happened. My daughter felt more at ease talking about these things to her nanny, than she did to me.

Earlier, if the truth be told, it hurt me. Why she couldn’t share these things with me? I am her mommy after all. But, then with time I realized, that the nanny was like an adopted elder sister for my daughter. How we share certain things with our siblings, which we wouldn’t do with our parents? Not because they are wrong, but because we feel more comfortable talking about them with our siblings.

I see my daughter playing silly games with her nanny. This is the girl who has been with us for the past 2 years. She has fed my daughter, bathed her and even cleaned her. My daughter sleeps with her on her mat, and sometimes eats off the same plate. My daughter plays teacher-student with her, where she becomes the teacher and the nanny her student. She has taught her alphabets and how to write her name in English. And, sometimes also reads her stories (I am not sure how much our Nanny who doesn’t understand English understands it though) from her story books.

They are not related by blood, but there is a special bond between the two. And, hence, it’s to her, my daughter tells her who is the bully of the class, who she will marry when she grows up, who are her favourite friends in the classroom and so on.

Now, I have come to accept that there will be things that she will share exclusively with her nanny. And, that’s alright. We all have different people in our life with whom we share different kind of information. If the nanny is one such kind in my daughter’s life, then let it be.

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