Every night I sleep like a soldier for every morning is a new battle. This pretty much sums up my life as a mother. From the moment, my little daughter wakes up to the moment she decides to go to sleep, my motherhood journey is a roller coaster ride.
Whenever she refuses to eat, throws tantrums on dressing up, cries when her unreasonable demands are not met, doesn’t want to sleep, and so on and on, I ask myself “What was I thinking when I wanted to have a child?”
Then another voice tells me, “You wanted a cute cuddly baby to hold and someone to call you ‘mama’.”
Well, that’s true. My maternal hormones had gone into an overdrive and I wanted a baby anyhow. This despite having seen the plight of my many friends and cousins. Not to forget what my mom used to tell me while growing up, “you will realise how difficult it is to raise a child when you become a mother yourself.”
Despite all the fair warnings I got, I still went ahead and had a baby.
Now breastfeeding and the wakey-wakey nights are behind me, and so are the feeding and potty training schedules. But what I didn’t realise is that at each difficult phase that I left behind, there is a much more complex one waiting for me. So after all the pleading, running around and yelling, I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Cry-myself-to-sleep exhausted and never-to-wake-up exhausted. This was definitely not the motherhood I had envisioned.
But when my toddler wipes up my tears and hugs me saying, “Mama, don’t cry. It will be alright,” (when all I am crying for actually is a silly emotional rom-com on the TV) or when she cuddles up beside me in the middle of the night; I realise I love being a mommy. Motherhood is made up of moments. For most part, you will doubt your sanity on being a mother but then moments like these are when you realise it’s not all that bad.
In an interesting article that I had read a few days ago, the author gives her insightful comments on how parenting is exhausting and not that blissful. She accuses the many mommy bloggers for making motherhood look trendy and glamorous when actually it’s not. Don’t start cursing her yet. There’s more. The author also considers the ladies of the world dimwits who start planning a family on seeing the cute little babies’ bottoms in the Johnson & Johnson ads. And on and on she rants till she has loaded it off her chest.
Well, I won’t deny that the title piqued my interest. And there are certain points that I fully agree with. Motherhood is a really exhausting job. But there’s nothing that we didn’t know when we took up the mommy project.
Ok, motherhood is not all that glamorous; I agree. But that’s no reason to hate the mommy bloggers. The poor ladies are simply making lemonade out of lemons.
Also, if someone feels like getting into some action after looking at the cute cuddly blue-eyed baby photos, then so be it. Some feel like having one when their raging hormones demand, some on seeing other cute babies.
True, there are times when I feel like running away for a while and just be with myself. There are times when I want to wake up when I want to and not because I am required to. And there are times when I feel like re-taking up my career; don up my office suit and have those silly gossips at the water cooler.
But motherhood is a choice that I consciously made and I am happy to live with even if it’s exhausting, blissfully or not. And I would never trade it for all the riches of this world.
I wish when my daughter reads this, she understands that motherhood is not an easy task and in most parts is over-rated. But she also needs to know that for a mother, being a mother is the greatest accomplishment of her life. And nobody, I mean nobody can rob her off that feeling.