Kid, why are you in a hurry to grow up so fast?

kidsgrowingup

In the morning…
Me – I have packed poha (a snack option made of flattened rice) for the short recess and parantha (Indian bread) and curd (Indian yogurt) for the lunch break. And, have added sugar in the curd.

She – Why sugar?

Me – It will give you energy. (She is unwell and has not been eating well these past few days)

She (exasperated) – Sugar is not healthy, don’t you know?

Me – I know. But as I said, you need some energy too, and sugar can give you that.

She shrugging her shoulders – Whatever!!

I gasped. Did she really say that!! I couldn’t believe my ears.

I thought I still had many more years to go before I heard that coming from her mouth. She is 5.5 years old.

Kids grow up quickly. In fact, too quickly for our comfort. What do you think?

Do you have a similar experience to share, mommies? It will definitely make me feel better, knowing that I am not the sole mommy facing this.

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I love my Period. Period.

woman period

Every other day I read someone or the other ranting about their period – ‘Period this, period that!’. It makes me wonder, what’s so wrong about the period? Why this angst against it? I started having my period at a very young age of 10 years. In fact, didn’t even know what it was then. There were times when I soiled my clothes as I didn’t remember it was my heavy flow day and that I need to change more often, or I played sports and didn’t realize I should tell my sports teacher about it.

My period never cramped my lifestyle, that was for sure. I played sports, went to all the events without once complaining. In my mother’s home, period life was normal too. I could enter the kitchen, touch the gas burner and even serve food to myself. The only thing she didn’t allow was to enter the temple. Well, it didn’t matter much. I was hardly a religious person. Also, I couldn’t wear white pants. That’s true! But, I didn’t own any, so that’s hardly here or there.

Of course, travelling was a bit bothersome as one needed to visit the washroom more often, and then find a convenient disposal procedure, which one often could not. So one had to carry the soiled remnants wrapped in a plastic bag either in the purse or one’s pocket. Eww! I know. Well, it was better than using a cloth.

Well, girls in India didn’t know of tampons in the 90s. For that matter, even today either they don’t know or they hardly use, because there’s a misconception that virgin girls cannot use tampons. Ha ha! And, menstrual cups. It was unheard of. It would have definitely made my childhood period more pleasant. No more worrying about soiled clothes, changing pads and oh, those horrible rashes! I can walk, swim (not that I do), run without a moment’s thought. There are times when I even forget I am menstruating. Thank God (I mean the man/woman or whoever who had the Eureka moment) for those extra comfy and super convenient pink silicon cups! I feel like one of those girls in the sanitary napkin commercials, who has to wear those white pants on her period day what come may, zipping around the whole day with a big, ear to ear smile enjoying her life.

I should own up that I love period and wait for it to come. Because those 3 days, I need not exercise and still not feel guilty about it. I can treat myself to chocolates and other mostly prohibited foods, because my body is losing something and hence needs more food (read junk) to re-gain that ‘something’. Wink, wink!!

Also, I feel very emotional in those days, and hence it’s perfectly alright for me to watch sappy romantic movies without explaining myself. What’s more! The words ‘I have cramps’ help me get out of almost anything. And, get a complete right to be tired at the end of the day, and demand of my hubby dearest to massage my legs or back, serve me food in the bed or pat our daughter to sleep. And if some feminist finds this in bad taste, well, what to say except, to each her own.

Seriously, I am sad when the period goes. I miss it even!!

5 Lessons I Have Learned In 5 Years Of Parenting That Make It All Worth It!

lessons of parenting
When I first held my tiny newborn in my arms, I experienced such an overwhelming rush of emotions that is both overwhelming and yet at the same. As I touched her tiny pink fingers, I resolved to teach her all the fine things of life and to raise her to be a good human being.
5 years later, my daughter has turned into a confident social person. She is a person in her own right and I am proud of her. But, what I am more proud of is the 5 lessons that I have learned in the 5 years of parenting that have changed my life and made me a better person.
1. Live in the present 
Like most people, I worried about tomorrow. What will happen tomorrow? We hoard things and money for tomorrow, and in the process do not enjoy TODAY. But, my daughter lives in the present. She wants her chocolate now, she wants to play today and she wants to open up all her gifts today itself. Even when I tell her she can have an extra hour of play the next day because it’s her holiday, but she won’t listen. Tomorrow is a concept she doesnt understand and believe in. All she has is today, and she wants to make the most of it. That makes me realize, “Why do I fret about tomorrow? Who has seen tomorrow? All I have is today!”
2. Forgive and forget 
The other day, my daughter came back home all upset. On inquiry, I came to know that she had fought with her friend and they said kitta to each other. For those who do not know, kitta in kids’ lingo means ‘we are not talking to each other’. However, the next day, when I took her down to the park to play, she met her friend and they both hugged as if yesterday hadn’t happened. There was no more talk of kitta, and everything was resolved with no sorries, no hard feelings or anyone’s pride or ego getting hurt. If only we can be so flexible and easy going with our own relationships!
3. Do not clutter your life
Like all parents, I like to spoil my daughter. So she has many toys, books and clothes. But, surprise of all surprises, she isn’t bothered with the numbers. She is happy wearing the same red frock that she loves, every day (that is a different story that I don’t let her). She …read more at http://www.worldofmoms.com/blog/5-Lessons-I-Have-Learned-In-5-Years-Of-Parenting-That-Make-It-All-Worth-It/1175/2

What’s worse than fearsome fours? Ferocious fives of course! What to expect from a 5-year old?

5 year olds

My daughter turned 5 a few months ago. It was a big day for us all! Five is a big milestone, especially in India, where the mortality rate in kids below 5 years is huge. Five also means no more oral Polio drops, as the child is out of danger for contracting the Polio virus.

But my daughter turning 5 came with its own set of issues. Let’s see them one by one:

They understand everything (and believe me, EVERYTHING!) – They can not only speak at least a couple of languages fluently, but also understand your pauses, your sign or eye language that you use to communicate with your spouse, your facial expressions. Nothing goes past them.

They become independent – At 5, your little darling is independent in the ways you cannot imagine. It delights you, and at the same time makes you wonder when did this happen. Your child can finish his morning ablutions without your help, she can dress herself and do various personal chores for which she was dependent on you earlier.

They become more responsible – My daughter was very careless or carefree before. But, now I can see the change in her. She tidies up her room after her play, she remembers her teacher’s instructions and takes care of her personal belongings. Also, when she sees me upset or unwell, she inquires, gets me water and the best of all, she hugs me.

They become more stubborn – I was not sure it was possible till I saw it happening with my daughter. My daughter has become more stubborn. The other day when she didn’t finish her lunch, I warned her that she would not get anything else to eat till her evening milk. She said – It’s OK. I won’t feel hungry!

They behave like teens – Here, I was dreading my daughter’s teenage, but seems it came a little too soon to plague me. At 5, she is already behaving like a teen. I gave her a time out which is usually some quiet time alone in the storeroom. After a while, when I went to check up on her, what did I see! A big notice on the storeroom door.

whattoexpectat5-storeroomno

NO – Mom not allowed in the store room in case you didn’t understand.

Seriously, why wait for the teenage, even a 5 year old is enough to bowl you over.

Their social needs come first – Till a few years ago, she was happy to tag along with me wherever I went, happy in the knowledge that she was with me. Well, times have changed and how! She still likes to tag along with me, but she needs to know first whether she would enjoy there. “What will I do at the grocery market? I get bored there!” “There is no one to play with me at your friend’s house!” So you see, wherever you go, you need to put their social needs first.

They are little politicians – They may be five year olds, but believe me, they are smart. Five year olds know which side their bread is buttered. They behave differently with different people. They might be a monster at home, but when they meet a guest or someone they know who usually gets goodies for them, they are sweet as angels.

They are a (an almost inexhaustible) bundle of energy – My daughter wakes up at 7 in the morning, attends school, goes to different classes and plays in the park in the evening, and goes to bed by 9:30 pm. I mean by the time I put her to bed, I am exhausted, I do not know where she gets her energy from. Sometimes I wonder if she has an auto-recharge button set in her body. There has to be one!

They like to pretend play – They might eat your brains for new toys, but the truth is, at least for the girls, that more than toys and games, they love to assume roles and enact different scenes from their daily life. So I see my daughter and her friends playing mama-papa, mama-baby, teacher-student, doctor-patient, etc. Well, one day, I saw my daughter with a big ball under her t-shirt.

When I asked her – What are you doing with a ball?

Mama, it’s a baby. I have a baby in my tummy!

They are opportunists – They know exactly when to strike, at your weakest moments, of course! My daughter asks for chocolates or other prohibited things usually when I am on an important call with a client or talking to a friend or neighbour. She knows mama is cornered and cannot do anything about it. She keeps on pestering me unless I finally say ‘yes’! Mission accomplished.

They are your little helpers – At 5 years, they are pretty much able and confident to help you with the household chores. My little one helps in the kitchen, sets the dinner table, loads the washing machine and does odd chores. Even though I have to supervise her, it still takes off some of my load.

It’s an interesting mix of good and bad, but I am enjoying every bit of it. Let’s see what the future has in store for me!

7 Things Indian Society REALLY Needs to Stop Saying About Stay-at-home-Moms and Work-From-Home Moms

Being a mother in India is no easy task. If we go out for a job leaving kids at home, we are made to feel horribly guilty. But if we decide to give up high-flying jobs and stay at home only to be with our children, society finds fault with that too! Strange, isn’t it? Stay at home moms and work from home moms often get uncomfortable questions that are interfering, pointless and irritating. Enough is enough!

working mother

Free image : flickr.com

Here are a few particularly sad things I have encountered on various occasions, and which still rankle me. I really wish people would be more understanding toward us!

1. What do you do all day? It must be so chilled out relaxing at home…

You seriously want to know? Well, I have a lounger at my place and I stretch on it to watch movies, munch on a giant tub of popcorn, and gulp down one beer after another. And, oh yes, I make my 5-year old daughter do the grocery shopping, iron clothes, pack tiffins, cut veggies and haggle with the fruitwala. Yes, that’s what I do all day! And, that’s how the 101 household chores are taken care of. You see, by magic!

2. What about your career? Don’t you feel left behind?

I am making one, and I am doing this from home, although it isn’t what I had planned initially. So what if I don’t have a fancy cubicle to my name, a team of members waiting for my instructions, or any corporate ladder to climb, I am still building a career. If it satisfies me, who are you to question?

3. Oh, you work from home. Do you earn enough? I mean, is it worth spending your time on?

Of course I don’t! And thanks so much for rubbing it in. I am nowhere close to what I earned earlier. But, listen, I made a choice when I decided to stay at home to be with my daughter. It was my choice to be there for her. I knew what I was getting into. And earning ‘enough’ didn’t top my list of must-haves. Also, I really don’t think I need to discuss my finances with the whole world!

The rest of the article, read at – http://www.worldofmoms.com/blog/7-Things-Indian-Society-REALLY-Needs-to-Stop-Saying-To-Stay-at-home-Moms-and-Work-From-Home-Moms/1090/2

I’m a Working Mom and That’s Okay, Never Mind What Some People Think

working mother1

Free image:  pixabay

Initially, I worked for fewer hours, only when my daughter was having her morning and afternoon naps. Staying at home the entire duration of a difficult pregnancy and the first few months of baby made me realize how much I missed working, and the discipline it demanded.

And then it began. My experience of meeting various groups of people with allegations and opinions of various sorts:

#1: The people who asked me why I had to hire a nanny for my daughter since I was at home

When my baby turned one, I hired a full day help who looked after my daughter. It gave me the opportunity to work for longer hours, though I could supervise my daughter from time to time. But some people failed to see why this was necessary. As I was at home, I could do everything on my own, never mind that I worked!

If my decision to hire a nanny while I was also at home was so severely judged, I wondered how tough it would be for mothers who actually step out of their home leaving their baby behind. As if the guilt of leaving their baby was not enough, they had to undergo the trauma inflicted by the society, and in some cases, even friends and family.

#2: The people who asked me how much I earned

Catch the rest of the article at – http://www.worldofmoms.com/blog/Im-a-Working-Mom-and-Thats-Okay-Never-Mind-What-Some-People-Think/1051/2

4 Honest Feelings I Had About My Postpartum Body – and No, They Aren’t All Good!!

stretchmarks

Free Image : wikimedia

Post delivery, I was in a confinement for 40 days. That meant strict dietary restrictions – I could have only certain foods. Let me tell you I could count them on one hand – Dairy (Milk and Ghee), moong dal, gourds, wheat flour and spices like ajwain, jeera, and turmeric. It wasn’t a splendid time, I must say. Day in day out, the same menu.

  • Ajwain roasted in ghee for breakfast, jeera roasted in ghee for evening snacks.
  • Milk twice a day.
  • Moong dal, gourds and rotis for lunch and dinner. The rotis dripped in ghee, enough to fry puris in them.

If I still felt hungry outside this menu, I could eat more ajwain and jeera. Needless to say, I did not eat much for the next 40 days. Even without food scarcity, I went hungry at home.

In bad shape – physically

And, then hogged like crazy once the restriction was lifted. Having a normal delivery, the doctor had advised me to start exercising one month after delivery, I didn’t start at least till six. Whatever little time I got went in sleeping. There was no time and energy left for exercising.

Result – my body had lost shape. And, how!

I looked in the mirror, noticed the sagging boobs, love handles and bulging tummy – I felt bad about them. But, covered them up in oversized clothes. It wasn’t up until one day I tried to fit in my old pair of jeans when I realized how much I had changed.

The episiotomy horror

Well, extra inches wasn’t my only worry. I have had an episiotomy. Anyone who has had one will know what a nightmare it is. And anyone who hasn’t had one, god bless them, they really needn’t know what it is. I prayed that I didn’t have to poop, and if I didn’t poop, I prayed that I could die. It was 2 months of nightmare where I had to sit in hot tubs of salt and Betadine, apply creams so that the stitches healed faster, and sit on a pillow so that the rear didn’t hurt.

To read the entire blog, click here –

http://www.worldofmoms.com/blog/4-honest-feelings-i-had-about-my-postpartum-body-and-no-they-arent-all-good/1039/2