One year into our marriage, my husband and I didn’t even want to think about a child. Two years; we had comfortable jobs and rising careers. We were just skimming thirties, bearing a child definitely didn’t feature on our priority list. We even toyed with the idea of adoption later in our life. Three years; I started having doubts about adoption. I wanted to bear my own child. Talked to my husband, he replied, “I am not ready for a baby yet.” Discussion ended. Another six months and I again broached the subject. I guess my maternal hormones were on a high and I desperately wanted a child. He said again, “I don’t think I am still ready.” Then I realized a man is never ready. He doesn’t have a furiously ticking biological clock or the raging female hormones. I decided to take the matters in my hand and told my husband that I wanted a child and quick. I guess my no-nonsense attitude helped and he finally gave in.
I conceived but my first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. After that, we realized together how desperately we had wanted a child. A year later, I had a healthy baby in my arms. But it’s been two years and I am still enjoying (I mean bearing) the after effects. Calcium, iron and B12 deficiency (if you’re vegetarian), my body develops new aches and pains every single day, the ring finger has developed arthritis like stiffness and other small ailments. That’s what childbearing and delivery do, take a heavy toll on you; both emotionally and physically. Whatever remains is taken away in bringing up the child.
A child is a big responsibility. Who am I kidding? A child robs you off your sleep, your nomadic lifestyle, your friends, your parties and your career. Where’s the fun! Indeed. It’s all ok if you are in your twenties, you have the time on your side. But enter thirties and if you are still shying away from parenthood, it might have serious repercussions later. Firstly, your biological clock is ticking away, furiously. Yes, your womb is not as young and agile as it was in your twenties. It ages too and almost twice the time your actual age. Your body is not that strong and lithe; all that partying, drinks and junk food take a toll after all unless you are a fitness freak and take care of your body like it’s a temple.
You will argue that even women in their forties have kids. Yes, they do. But it’s not easy. Ask them. Even for women in thirties, it’s not easy. What you can do in twenties, you can definitely not do in your thirties, and lesser so in forties. As you grow older, bigger the health problems. You need to battle issues like diabetes, gestational diabetes, BP, thyroid, hormonal changes close to menopausal years, breastfeeding etc.
A child is a big job; 24/7 that you cannot just ignore or stash away in your drawer and lock it. A child is a big commitment whether you like it or not. So if you are going to have a child, better have one now.