Newborn and Mother Care

5 Things You Should Never Tell A New Mommy

new mother

With 9 months of pregnancy full of people shooting away this tip, that suggestion, why did I ever think post-pregnancy would be any different? If at all, the tips, suggestions and questions only grew in number. However, these 5 take the cake.

Beware: These 5 advice you should never give to a new mommy. She may scorn you with her looks, ask you to leave or worse still, curse you (inwardly! I may have done so!).

My delivery was so smooth (or so difficult) – Hey, listen, your time’s up! It’s been 10-20-30 years since you last delivered, and must have had your share of attention then. So, keep your mouth shut, for now, it’s my time. And only I need to talk about how my delivery was.

Does it hurt? – No, it doesn’t! What’s the big deal? IT just delivered a baby, IT had a painful episiotomy, and IT had stitches… but I see no reason why it should hurt!

That pregnancy tummy will never go away. See mine – I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since ages, I feel like a milking cow and I am hurting like hell down there, the last thing I care about is my tummy. I have my priorities right, and this lump of a tummy doesn’t feature on it. Period.

The baby looks like her granny/uncle/aunt (anyone but you) – This is seriously non-acceptable. I kept her for 9 months, had a horrible morning sickness, nurtured her in my womb, spent sleepless nights, gone through 17 hours of labour, so if at all she looks like someone, it has to be me. And if she doesn’t, you don’t need to rub salt into my wounds.

When are you having another one? The baby needs a sibling! – Yeah, like I need a shot in my foot. And who says so? The baby? Let me get over the first one…my insides are still rattling, my feet still wobbly, my eyes blood red…!!! I feel like going back in time and reverse the damage, let alone have a second baby.

Let’s hear what kind of questions and suggestions you got post-pregnancy that made you feel like screaming blue murder!

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  1. ‘The your baby looks like’ point is solid. I get this all the time from people saying, patronisingly so, that my boy doesn’t look like me, when he very obviously does! – I don’t even care about that, really, because of course he looks like his parents. But more so than that, he looks like himself!

    • I know…the opinions usually differ…your husband’s family will always see the resemblance with your husband, while your family will see it in you! It’s more like fun game for some people. I usually ignore such comments, or just smile at them…after all, I know better. 🙂
      Thanks for replying.

  2. Exactly right! I’ve had so many say to me, “I’m sorry, but he looks like ____.” When they’re saying he doesn’t look like me. I just think, why the need to apologise? I’m not sorry he looks like his dad, why’re you?
    The fun game aspect is nice & I expected that much, and looked forward to it. But the patronising, judgemental appearance shaming, I was 100% not prepped for.

    Great post!

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