After 5 years of being a mother, I have understood this one thing that you do not become a parent overnight, just because you delivered. As the baby grows, you grow and evolve as a parent with her. Hence, to call someone a bad parent is not correct. The parenting may not be upto the mark, but the mother or the father never intended to be a bad parent. It’s not like they are the evil step mothers of the fairy tales, who purposely hurt the kids.
But, as parents, we set examples for our kids. And, if we present a wrong example, that’s what they will learn from us.
When my daughter shouted and threw tantrums
Initially, I thought she was upset because her nanny had quit. But gradually I realized it was not just that. Her nanny quitting had affected me too. Reeling under tremendous work pressure, household chores and looking after my 3 year old, I was very stressed out. And, some of the frustration spilled onto my daughter. I shouted at her a few times and ignored her when I was really busy. And, thus she started shouting back, because she thought that’s the way it should be done to express anger. She threw tantrums to get attention.
This discovery made me check my behaviour. I could not avoid my work, but I could avoid letting it affect my child. I put her in a day care for a few hours which gave me ample time to finish all my chores. So when she came back home, I could dedicate my entire time to her. It helped.
When What’sApp took over my life
It was the time when my husband had gifted me a new smartphone. I immediately downloaded What’sApp to know what the hype was all about. Once I registered and added friends on it, there was no looking back. I was hooked, and spend hours on it chatting. Though I made sure my daughter was well fed, our quality one-on-one time got affected. One day, she asked me she wanted to watch TV. I told her “No screen time!” And that’s when she told me “But you also have so much screen time on your phone!” That made me cut back on my habit.