A few days ago, I was talking to my neighbor who casually remarked that I should think of another child. While discussing the matter with her, it came out of my mouth, “But, I don’t see any sign that says I want to be a mother!”
That’s true. It had happened to me 7-8 years ago when I had wanted to be a mother. Here’s my story. I got married, moved to Mumbai and got a job in a prestigious company. For the first 2-2 ½ years, I was very happy with my life. I had a soaring career and a loving husband. A baby didn’t feature on my to-do list. I would run away from friends who talked constantly about their babies and also ignored people who asked, “So, when are you having a baby!”
But, on my 30th birthday (much like Rachel Greene of F.R.I.E.N.D.S), the thought sprung up suddenly from nowhere that in spite of my career, my husband and weekends sans souci full of movies and eating out, I was ready for something more. I realized it was time to be a MOTHER. Gradually, that feeling started taking hold of my conscious self, and soon I was talking to my husband about it. After a few months of discussion, where ‘the just’ an idea of motherhood had turned into a manic obsession with me, my husband agreed and the rest as they say is history.
I am sure there are many women out there who are in a denial mode or have accepted that they want to be a mother. I don’t know how it is with you, but I can tell you some signs that scream that you are ready to be a mother.
You feel incomplete – You may have a near fairy tale life, but you still yearn for more. Suddenly, you feel your career, your friends and your family are not enough. You want a baby to make you feel complete.
People’s comments make you think – While earlier you brushed away the gentle or not-so gentle inquiries away, you can’t do so anymore. When someone asks you, “When are you having a baby?”, you cannot smile and ignore it. When someone tells you, “You should have a baby, you are almost 30 and your biological clock is ticking!”, you don’t become irritated or develop a migraine, but it makes you actually take notice and think about it.
You become overly emotional – When seeing a cute chubby baby in the Johnson’s baby products commercial makes you desperately hold a tiny baby in your lap and take in his fresh innocent smell, be sure that your I-want-to-be-a-mommy hormones are certainly working overtime. You see a baby or a mother holding her cute little child, and you just want to have a baby of your own, anyhow. It happened with me. We were staying in a bungalow in Kalimpong, near Darjeeling, where the caretaker’s 3-year old won my heart. I was so upset when our trip came to an end, that I cried on the entire return journey. That’s when my husband was sure that we should have a baby soon. In another instance, I was walking on a pavement, when I saw a newborn baby crying, while her mother was sleeping beside her oblivious to her baby. I had such an urge to pick up the baby and run with her. Don’t laugh! It actually happened!
You fantasize yourself as a mother – You start imagining yourself with a cute little baby, nursing her or singing her to sleep. You don’t just stop at day dreaming, but actually go a step further and stuff a pillow or clothes under your t-shirt to see how the baby bump looks on you, and take mirror selfies.
When lack of protection stops bothering you – You had unprotected intercourse the previous night, and not only that does not bother you, but you also (somehow) forget to take the morning after pill. After all, lots of babies happen due to accidents, don’t they!!
You browse through baby clothes – You accidentally (come on!!) find yourself in the baby section of the departmental store and browse through the cute and tiny onesies and frocks. I had a friend who had a drawer full of baby rompers, diapers, bibs, napkins, even before she was contemplating pregnancy.
You grill your friends and family on their labor and delivery experiences – Most women are scared of labor and delivery having grown up on steady horror stories of the same. So, you grill your friends and family (you don’t even spare your mother) on how their experiences were. And somehow placate yourself that it won’t happen to you or you are made of stronger stuff.
If you are experiencing any or all of the above signs, congratulations, you are ready to be a mother. However, there are many important steps that follow after this discovery.
- Firstly, you need to talk seriously with your partner about becoming parents. You want to become a mother, but is he ready to be a father?? You need to check out.
- Visit your gynecologist and getting some tests like HIV, Thalassaemia, Thyroids, CBC, etc. done. She/he may also prescribe you folic acid tablets.
- Start exercising or practicing Yoga and indulge in mindful eating. You need a strong and healthy body to carry a child till full term and post-birth recovery.
Our hormones work in mysterious ways. I believe it’s their way of signalling to us that it’s time we made good use of the uterus that the nature has given us.
What is your story? How did you learn that you were ready to be a mommy???