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2018 is a year of ACCEPTANCE

new year goals, goals of 2018, 2018 goals, new year resolutions, positive year

Wish you all a very happy new year 2018!!

A few days ago, my daughter came home, quite upset. When I asked her the reason, she told me with her eyes shining with unshed tears, “X didn’t invite me to her birthday party. They are going to Kidzania!” And those tears finally came rushing down her cheeks.

I asked calmly, “So what?”

“But, I had invited her to mine!” She cried.

I told her, “Yes, because you wanted to invite her. It doesn’t mean she would have to invite you as well!”

A genuine pearl of wisdom, I must admit. However, it was easier said than understood. Well, I couldn’t possibly make my 6-year-old understand that people work in mysterious ways. You can’t expect people to act as you want them to.

As I said easier said than understood. Not only by my little girl, but also by me.

I have had my heart broken quite a few number of times when I wrongly assumed people would reciprocate my feelings in exactly the same way I feel for them or go out of my way for them. It bothered me to see that they were happy in the ignorance that their behaviour actually affected me. Don’t think I have not reprimanded myself for being an idiot time and again. But, it’s like my previous numerous experiences from my teens and 20s have failed to teach me anything.

I started bothering me a lot. Very soon, I will enter 40s, and I realized that I can’t carry on like this anymore. I needed to change myself, and fast. So, I started introspecting. And, even started practising meditation.

So, this year, I want to do these few things:

Stop complaining. This is the first and the most important step. Stop complaining about how people are. They were that way and they would always be. They are just being themselves, so stop making them out to be monsters.

Accept people as they are. Whether it is my mother in law, sister in law, friend or even my husband, they all are different people. And it’s up to me to accept that they are different in the way they are made up, they think and act.

Wish happiness. As a small child, I was very possessive of my friends. My friend is mine alone. Well, as you grow up, you realize you cannot possess people; not even your child, let alone your friend. But, yes, you can wish them happiness wherever they are and with whomsoever they are with.

Accept myself. It’s no use accepting people, if you don’t accept yourself first. I have come to accept myself the way I am. I realized that my whole approach towards looking at things was incorrect. I cannot force people to be like me. I am different, and so is everybody. And the best way to live a happy life is to accept that difference. People are different, and they should be. But, that shouldn’t stop you from being you.

Don’t change. Just because someone is not nice to you, shouldn’t make you lose your niceness. You are a good person, and let not the society touch you.

Stay away from people who don’t care. Accepting people the way they are is fine, but that doesn’t mean they can treat you anyway they want to. There is a fine line between being nice and losing self-respect. Stay away from people who genuinely do not care for you.

I am a great believer of the life values of Bhagavad Gita. And Gita says, “Perform your actions. Don’t worry about the outcome”. It’s difficult, but not impossible.

Every new day is for new learnings. I have a whole new year to learn. I just hope I learn my lesson well.

So, let’s cheer the new year 2018 to acceptance and a happier, wiser life!

4 Comments

  1. Loved reading this one..I guess even I need to follow most of it…I also felt my childhood friend was just mine until we stopped talking and I realised it was for our own good..I guess the accepting part also holds true for me..I feel i have changed to suit others as they wanto see me..it’s time to get back to being me Nee 😎
    Do write more posts like this helps me stay motivated and happy 😊cos sometimes despite knowing every thing we tend to pretend and be ignorant so this is like a wake up call😉

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Neethu! We tend to blame others, but the truth is the inability to push things for the better lies within us. I have a habit of depending on others for my happiness and would mold myself for others. This post should serve as a wake up call for me as well whenever I tend to deviate from my resolution. It’s time I started living for myself, be happy for myself and take the full responsibility for it. Thanks again for motivating me! Hugs!! 🙂

  2. Acceptance is such a big one but so hard sometimes, and not complaining, especially when coparenting! The difference in perspective/priorities sometimes makes me wonder if we are even all really living in the same house. Practicing gratitude has been one of my resolutions for years.

    • I have had some pretty bad few years because of my expectations from people. If I did something for someone, I would expect something in return. But it doesn’t work that way, it took me some time to realize and accept that. That’s why the acceptance. I know it’s difficult, but I don’t want to be in that frame of mind ever again. And believe me, last few weeks have been wonderful because I have started letting go of my complaints. I have started giving people the benefit of doubt and explaining myself that everyone can’t be ME! Gratitude, that’s a good one too! Thanks for the suggestion!

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