Miscarriage is a traumatic experience for a woman. And, it can be made worse by some insensitive comments that well-meaning friends and family sometimes unintentionally make…
When I first learnt I was pregnant, my joy knew no bounds. I was going to be a mother. My husband was equally happy too. Though my OB/GYN had advised me not to tell anyone about the news till 3 months, I just could not wait announcing it to the whole world that I was carrying a woman. We called our respective families and friends and gave them the good news. Everyone was so happy for us.
Then in the 10th Week, I found out that my baby had no heart beat. My baby had stopped growing inside.
The doctor suggested a D&C. I could not digest the truth. I cried for days and wondered “Why me?!” Of course, it was not only me, thousands of women go through a miscarriage.
I felt useless and helpless as a woman; I could do nothing to save my baby. It was the worst period of my life. But, what made it more unbearable were some heartless comments people made when they learnt of the miscarriage!
1. At least you know you can get pregnant
What sort of a comment is that? Every woman who has a regular menstrual cycle assumes she can get pregnant. There is no doubt in her mind. Then, how does this knowledge that I gained at the cost of my baby help me?
2. At least you miscarried early in the pregnancy
Early or late, a miscarriage is very traumatic for a woman. She has lost her child, how does it matter whether it was early or late. I was attached to my baby in those few weeks of pregnancy, and to lose to my child like this was very painful.
3. It’s better to miscarry than have a baby with problems
For a mother, her baby is the most precious. I would have loved my baby equally had she been born with some development challenges. This remark always made me feel small, as if I had loved my baby any less if she would have had ‘problems’.
Keep on reading the blog at – http://www.worldofmoms.com/blog/7-Heartless-Comments-People-Make-To-Women-Who-Have-Had-a-Miscarriage/1163/2