Originally published at – http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/first-time-mommy/article/why-you-should-tell-your-kids-change-is-good
I still distinctly remember the day, when my little daughter came from school and told me excitedly,
“Mama, you know I am going to a big class.”
“Oh! Really!” I feigned surprise.
“Yes, because I am big now.”
That was her last day of one class, and she was being promoted to a senior class. That is a usual phenomenon; every March, kids enter a senior grade.
She continued, “Teacher said the new class will have tables because we will be writing.”
“Oh! Wow!” I exclaimed.
She said with a little note of sadness in her voice, “But, my teachers will change. I will get new teachers.”
But, the very next moment, even before I could react, she jumped in excitedly with, “And, the teacher said ask mama to buy you a new school bag and water bottle.”
I replied automatically, “Why?” Now, I wasn’t too sure. Why a new bag? What’s wrong with the existing one. Schools these days just want parents to spend, spend and spend. Do they even know how much these things cost? Do they think parents get money off trees? What kind of teaching is this?
I was thoroughly disappointed with the school, and came out with some choicest expletives, though I refrained myself from uttering them aloud.
“Mama, because, I am going to a new class. That’s why everything should be new. New teachers, new friends, new tables, new school bag, uniform and water bottle.”
I took a while, but it finally dawned on me the philosophy of my daughter’s school. The kids were small; hence, a huge change which included new teachers and a new set of friends (her school shuffles students in all the sections with the aim to encourage children to interact with new people and thus, make new friends) would make them anxious. This anxiety could prove a hurdle in their learning and growing up process. In order to avoid that, they were preparing the kids beforehand. This way, the kids would not mind, or rather wouldn’t resist the change; rather they would be looking forward to the excitement the change would bring. The expense of a new school bag and a water bottle appeared paltry now.
I later found a note in her school bag by her teacher, “She hugged me a lot today, because she realized I would not be around in the new class!” Those words can still bring a few tears to my eyes. That one sentence showed how sensitive kids are, and their fear towards the unknown.
That was then. Now, my child looks forward to her new class, new teachers, new friends and new adventures with wholehearted excitement. And I thank her teachers for that.
This happens with everyone. Even an infant eyes suspiciously and howls when he finds himself in strange arms, because he doesn’t like the change; he prefers his mother’s lap. When a toddler goes to school first, again he doesn’t want to leave the comfort of his home and his family. He doesn’t appreciate the change in his life.
When adults resist change, why kids should be any different. Kids are also averse to changes in their life. Because change means moving out of the territory that is known and comfortable.
Why would anyone want to change? Why? Why?
Because by changing, we keep on learning and growing. Kids can’t remain kids all the time, they need to grow. And change provides that. The perfect opportunity to learn, to explore, to grow…and to progress.
So why should we resist the change? Why? Why?
No reason at all. If we explain to our kids that a change is for the better (not many will agree with me here, but actually, that’s how it is) and brings in new opportunities, they will look at the change positively. They might not like it, but they will come to appreciate it. Childhood is the period when we can instill fears and courage, and positives and negatives in their little hearts.
5 things we can do for our children today:
- Let’s not instill our fears and pre-conceived notions in them.
- Let them not fear the new experiences.
- Let them grow positively and look at the brighter side of things.
- Let them see the goodness in bad.
- Let them grow with hope.
Every parent wants to provide a happy childhood to their children. A khuljaye bachpan – a bachpan that is carefree, and challenges our kids positively and teaches them to be fearless and all-accepting of changes. Let’s do that, let’s embrace change, and teach our kids to do that too!