I am a Mother and I am a show off

I had married quite late. By that time quite a few of my friends and family were already in the children’s way. Well, having a child spoils everything. The spontaneity and easy camaraderie between the friends. That’s what happened to me.

I called my friend to see if we could go for a movie.

“He has got a stomach upset. He’s been pooping all day. Sometimes it’s yellow and solid, and sometimes it’s green and runny.” I seriously felt like throwing up. Quickly murmuring some excuse, I hung up the phone. Did she need to be so vocal about it? For a long time to come, every time I thought of my friend, I had a horrible vision of green and black poop floating before my eyes. Ugh!

Then there were other friends who invited me to their homes thinking that as I didn’t have kids; I was probably missing out on all the fun.

“She has won the 1st prize in Poetry Recital. Baby sing, ‘Baa baa black sheep.’” And I sat through the recital of the nursery rhyme and even found it cute. But as soon as it’s over, it’s “now sing – Twinkle Twinkle.” “Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall?”

And it continued for another half hour after which thankfully The Baby got bored. But not before I had been thoroughly reminded of all the nursery rhymes I had ever learnt in my preschool. I felt like shouting, ok, I know your child’s talented but enough’s enough.

This one probably takes the cake. One of my favourite cousins, needless to say a mother too, visited us. No sooner had she come when my mother asked her, “How is the little one doing?” And oh, the dam burst.

“She is fine, but she hardly sleeps. Keeps me awake the entire night.”  Then she looked at me and said, “Wait till you have your own. You will realize what it’s like to stay awake night after night.”

And that was the day when she ceased to be on my favorite’s list. Did anybody ask her to bear a child, then why did she behave as if the whole damn world owed her?

With mothers, it’s always my child this, my child that. It’s so involuntary and unintentional, that most of the times they don’t even realize they are doing it.

The result: I started running away from anybody remotely mommy-like; stopped calling them and visiting them. I certainly didn’t want to be caught in the web of potty training, diapers, breastfeeding and other motherhood slang that they frequently used. Though my life was a tad uneventful like them, I was happy.

But then another thing hit me. Even though sitting in the protected zone of my house, I realized I still could not escape from the onslaught of mommies and their offspring. Oh, yes I am talking about the Social Media. Whether on What’s App or Facebook, all I could see were cute photos of kids. It was as if they were built specially for mommies to show off their pregnancy pictures, their birth pictures, pictures of their infants, toddlers, preschoolers and so on……

“My baby’s first gummy smile”

“My baby turned one, two, then five.” – I am sure it would continue till the baby has a baby.

“Her first doodle”

“See him sitting on his first ride”

“Oh, she’s swimming like a pro”

Seriously, sharing the tiniest details of your kids’ life may be interesting for you but it’s definitely not entertaining for the world. A few random pictures here and there are ok, but filling up your pages with them as if there’s no tomorrow is definitely a big no-no. You might lose a friend or two in the process, people may start running away from you.

I am a Mother and I am a show off

 

Think about it a little while I…”OMG, my darling daughter is looking like a princess in her new dress. Wait, that absolutely has to go on the Facebook.” 😉

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