My Warmth, My Comfort

She has been sitting on my lap for an hour. My thigh feels numb. But she refuses to get down. She is running a slight fever and draws assurance and comfort from my body warmth.

my warmth, my comfort

After a while, I urge her again to get down and play with her dollies or watch some TV. But she says, “No!” End of conversation. Her ‘No’ to TV worries me. She loves TV.

I like being near to her. But it’s been a while now and I really feel like stretching my legs. But she wouldn’t have any of it. I look at the clock. It’s 10 minutes past 7. When will her father reach home? I wonder. I know apart from me, only her father can comfort her.

The next second, I hear the sound of a key being inserted in the keyhole. She must have heard the sound too, because she straightens up. And then her father enters. Seeing her father, she jumps with joy and gets off my lap to run to her father. My lap is suddenly free. As the blood rushes through my veins once again, I can feel the sensation back in my legs. But my heart feels cold and bereft as if I have lost something valuable. I miss her. I want her back in my lap, close to my heart.

I wonder now, who was drawing comfort from whom?

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4 thoughts on “My Warmth, My Comfort

  1. I can tell the same…I have two kids …a boy and girl…almost same age…(15 months apart only)…and they’ve been sleeping snugly with me during nights all the while..so much so I could not move even an inch…and changing sides was long forgotten..
    After a lot of bickering from me…my husband started cajoling my son to sleep next to him…and the next thing I know is within 3-4 days(nights) he’s wanting to sleep with dad only… ..
    Though I got a little more space to spread myself …one side of me was cold and empty and the snug feeling was gone…
    wonder who won ?!?

    • I know the feeling Pallavi…As per my doc’s advice, I tried to stop co-sleeping but after a couple of uncomfortable nights, I put her back in my bed. I can sleep without my hubby but not my daughter. I guess we mothers are programmed this way.

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