5 Signs That Indicate Something Is Not Quite Right With Your Child

I was quite happy that my daughter was meeting all her developmental milestones. She started sitting at 6 months, crawling at 8 and walking at 11. I was so happy with her timely accomplishments that I forgot that there was something equally important to focus on. Her behavioural development. There are some telling signs that can indicate a serious problem. Consider this my warning!


Behavioural development of your child is as important as her meeting all her physical milestones. Hence, focus on them too! For me, it wasn’t until my daughter’s constant desire to be with me became a nuisance that I realized that there was something not correct. I talked to her paediatrician, enrolled her in a kindergarten and hosted play dates, and that’s how gradually she started observing and mingling with other people other than me.

Yes, behavioural development of a child is as important as physical development. A child may throw a tantrum, be disobedient, or display an outburst of aggression or destructive behaviour. If that’s occasional, there’s often nothing to worry about. But, if this kind of behaviour is a regular norm, it’s time parents took it more seriously and took positive steps to control it.

Read more here –



5 Signs That Indicate You Are a Bad Parent

After 5 years of being a mother, I have understood this one thing  that you do not become a parent overnight, just because you delivered. As the baby grows, you grow and evolve as a parent with her. Hence, to call someone a bad parent is not correct. The parenting may not be upto the mark, but the mother or the father never intended to be a bad parent. It’s not like they are the evil step mothers of the fairy tales, who purposely hurt the kids.

But, as parents, we set examples for our kids. And, if we present a wrong example, that’s what they will learn from us.

Read more here – http://www.worldofmoms.com/blog/5-Signs-That-Indicate-You-Are-a-Bad-Parent/1000/2

My journey from a fussy mum to a buddy mum


A sculpture of a mother and children with the words “A Child Gives Birth to a Mother,” Bandra, Mumbai, India.

If you have ever passed through Bandra reclamation, you might have stumbled upon this beautiful sculpture of a child and mother. But, more than the sculpture, it’s the words written on it that will grab your eyes.

A child gives birth to a mother. – Dr. Vithal Ventakesh Kamat

It’s so beautiful and so true! I understood it the day my daughter was born. Coincidentally, it was also my birthday. Yes, my daughter decided to pop out on my birthday. After the delivery, as the doctor was stitching me up, I happened to tell him that it was my birthday that day. He congratulated me and then said these words.

You may be born on this day several years ago. But, today you are reborn as a mother.

However, the funny part is that I didn’t feel that I was a complete mother the very first day. When I breastfed my daughter for the first child, I experienced a wonderful motherly feeling. When I lulled her to sleep, I felt more of a mother than ever before. When I stayed awake nights to nurse her cold, that’s when I reached a new height of motherliness. It was a slow transition, this motherhood. And, no mother achieves it overnight. It happens with time, patience and effort.

Every day is a new journey. Even after five years, every day I learn a new thing. It makes me wonder how I survived all this while. Motherhood is like a part of a giant jigsaw puzzle, and every day, a part of it gets connected correctly. And once a mother, always a mother. So this puzzle will stay with me till the very end.

In this journey of mine, I have learnt a lot of things – from my elders, neighbours, peers, friends, and maids. Also, I have learnt a lot from Khuljaaye Bachpan. As I write for it, I also try to emulate in real what I write. And, that has helped me. Tremendously to be a good mother, no, a better mother.

I was a fussy mommy, like all first time moms usually are. I wouldn’t let my child play in the sand much for the fear of germs and not let her get wet in the rain for the fear of falling sick. I would fuss and fret over small things. But, a year later, though I wouldn’t say I am completely a fuss-free mommy, I can at least confidently say that I have come a long, long way. My daughter now gets wet in the rain (though she needs to take a hot bath immediately) and plays in the sand (though she gets a head to toe wash later).

Recently, we travelled to Goa on the occasion of our birthday. There we rented a scooter, and my little darling was thrilled to bits on standing at the front. She loved the cool breeze on her face and hair. But, that also meant her hair was full of stubborn tangles. The older me would have never let that happen, and would have plaited her hair. But the new me didn’t bother tying her hair. Later, as I was combing her hair, it produced a few tears, but at least she had her fun with her hair down. J

Another incident that highlights the new me took place recently. My daughter loves to explore my mirror cabinet that contains perfumes, lipsticks, nailpaints, powders, bindis and other knickknacks. I usually keep the door firmly locked, because if she finds it open, it becomes very difficult to detach her from it. And, as far as my cosmetics are concerned, they are later found in different states of distress. Now, that day, I forgot to lock the cabinet door. After a while, when I went into my room, I found her surrounded by my cosmetics – her toes were painted green, there was a bindi on her forehead, and her lips were scarlet red. And, then I saw my favourite red lipstick lying on the floor broken.

I was just about to shout at her, when I stopped myself in time. She was all dolled up, and looking a pretty sight. I didn’t want to spoil her fun by shouting at her. Yes, the lipstick had cost a bomb, but my shouting wouldn’t have mended it. So, I let it go. The next moment, I sat down with her, and asked her to paint my nails green too, and put lipstick (a different one) on my lips. By choosing not to make a scene over the incident, I bonded with her.

I am committed to give my daughter a happy and carefree childhood. The Khuljaye Bachpan journey has helped me turn into a buddy mum. And, I think twice before shouting at and scolding my daughter. If things are not important enough, I don’t rake them up. My household is much calmer and happier now.

I have changed, and for the BETTER!!! Though there is still a long way to go…


Mommy, why does that touch feel bad?

I happened to come across this video the other day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwzoUnj0Cxc which immediately made me sit up and write on this socially tabooed topic.


Remember that friendly neighbourhood uncle who talked sweet but never left a chance to grope you outside the public eye, or that old relative who touched you at all the wrong places? Or even that milkman or fruitwala who accidentally (but deliberately) bumped into you touching your skin?

It has evoked some bad memories, hasn’t it? Even though 20, 30 or 40 years might have elapsed but you can still relive the horror of those moments. You have grown up and some of your perpetrators might have long gone, but their acts have stayed with you all these years. You stayed silent, didn’t speak about it to anyone in your family, not even to your mother. Yes, there was a social stigma attached to it. What could your mother have said? Or better still, what could she have done about it? The uncle was a known member of the society. No, no. It was better you didn’t say anything to anybody.

It happens to almost all girls while growing up that some member of the family or friend takes advantage of their innocence. As there is no sex awareness, most of them choose to keep quiet. And their silence is then accepted as their fate. Though there was no lecher in my family (thankfully), there was one in my neighbourhood. The 50-something man used to roam around with his beaded ‘mala’ chanting ‘Hare Rama Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna Hare Hare” and then would deliberately try to mingle with young girls touching them inappropriately. Though all of us hated him and avoided going near to him, none of us complained to our parents. I can’t recollect now why we were afraid of reporting him to our parents.

The times have changed but the people have not. Young girls are the same and the society is still the same, full of sick and depraved people. But what still rankles is the lack of awareness amongst the parents. I have a little daughter and my blood boils every time I think of something like this happening to her. This is the reason I resent when male members of the society; friends and family try to be too touchy-feely with her. I may be paranoid but so be it. Let her grow a little bit and I will be the first one to make her aware of this situation.

Here’s what you can do to make your little ones safe from sexual offence:

Be aware:

Being a parent, you have to shoulder a lot of responsibilities. Being aware of such behaviour in this otherwise civilized society is also a part of your responsibility.

  • Notice constantly if there is any change in your child’s behaviour; if an exuberant/naughty/extrovert child suddenly becomes quiet and brooding or their marks start falling or they lose appetite even for their favourite dishes.
  • Take steps that your child is not among strangers without mature company.
  • Except immediately family, trust no one. Even then you need to be cautious.

Better be safe than sorry:

The fruit vendor in our society is extra friendly with small kids. Though he might have meant no harm, I once saw him throwing my girl high in the air. I immediately admonished him. Similarly, you need to monitor closely. You never know who is bad and who is good.

  • Make your little child wear cycling shorts, bloomers under skirts or frocks. Under short skirts, make them wear tights.
  • Make sure their school bus has a female attendant.
  • Try not to send them in private transport.

Talk to her:

We understand that your child is young and you want to shield her from external influences. But also remember that awareness in your child is half the battle won. So as soon as your child is old enough to understand, teach her the concepts of good touch, bad touch. Most schools have this kind of knowledge parting but there’s no harm in starting early. Tell your child that she needs to talk to her teacher or parents if she feels bad after someone’s touch.

To an older child, give her/him basic sex education. Talk to your child regularly and tell her to come to you if any untoward incident happens.

Take someone in confidence:

There are circumstances on which you have no control, eg. you need to leave your child in a day care, or with family or friends. Take someone in the family in confidence and ask her/him to keep an eye on your child in your absence. When I had left my 15 months daughter with her grandparents for 2 months, I had requested my mother-in-law to be extra attentive when she played with male servants in the house.

Take her side:

If your child comes running to you complaining about some bad incident, immediately soothe her. Listen to her side of the story and take immediate steps. Most often than not, a well-respected family member/friend or a neighbour is involved. Don’t hesitate. Remember, this can traumatize your innocent child forever. Don’t choose a sexual pervert over your child. Also, take her/him to counsellors for help.

If I have left something important, please share in this forum. It may help an innocent child from being a victim of sexual offence.

How I Turned Into A Super Cool Auntie With This Personalized Gift?


I had been looking for a nice gift for my nephew of 3 years on the occasion of Diwali. Now, there are so many gifting options available these days, both online and offline, that it is overwhelming. After perusing, maybe, close to 500 products (I am not exaggerating!!) from clothes to shoes, toys, games and stationary, I had lost all hope. It was very difficult to zero in on one appropriate product for him. Also, I was not very sure about buying clothes and shoes, for someone I had not met for quite a while, as they are somehow never the correct size, and I was not too keen on getting into this whole cycle of return and exchange.

It was around this time when an email landed in my mailbox. Wary of promotional mails, I usually do not open them. But, it promised great gifts for kids, and thus, to end my gifting dilemma, I was tempted to take a little peek into it. Well, it was www.perfico.com, a site for beautiful personalized gifts for girls and boys. As I browsed through the various options, I realized I really liked their stuff. It had great gifting options not only for kids, but also for grownups like champagne glasses, coasters, mugs, clocks, flip flops (can you imagine??), cushion covers, and all of these personalized.

Well, so coming back to my problem, (it was no more a problem) because I finally found a great gift for my nephew – a personalized bath towel. There were various designs for kids’ bath towels, both for girls and boys on the site – http://www.perfico.com/personalized-gifts/bath-towels

I selected the design I liked the most and immediately placed an order. Well, the very next day, my gift was in my hands, delivered by one of the best couriers in India. As I opened up the package, I was happy to find that the towel looked exactly as it was shown in the picture, the same design and colour. No mismatch. The towel is an adult sized premium terry towel, soft to touch, ideal for small kids. And, my nephew’s name was printed as I had spelt. He has recently started recognizing his name, and would love to use something that has his name on it, along with some pretty cool objects that every child loves.

Also, I am being a tad selfish. I want him to remember me, his maasi (or Chikki as he prefers to call me), whenever he uses this towel, and I am sure with such a cool gift, he is going to do that.

My gifting dilemma is over. How about you? Diwali is round the corner. Check out the site for cute little personalized gifting options for little ones. http://www.perfico.com/

You will love them, as I did!!

Now, you can too buy a beautiful gift from Perfico.com. All you need to do is visit their site, and tell me which product you would like to gift it to your little one. And, 3 lucky winners will get a cash voucher of upto Rs500! So hurry, offer lasts till 31st Oct.

Nanny, Daughter and Me

The other day, my daughter’s nanny a 20-year old girl came to me, and told me, “Aanya wants to have cauliflower-peas subzi for lunch!”


I was surprised. I had asked my daughter a few minutes ago, what she wanted for lunch, and she didn’t reply. This was the second time this had happened. My daughter felt more at ease talking about these things to her nanny, than she did to me.

Earlier, if the truth be told, it hurt me. Why she couldn’t share these things with me? I am her mommy after all. But, then with time I realized, that the nanny was like an adopted elder sister for my daughter. How we share certain things with our siblings, which we wouldn’t do with our parents? Not because they are wrong, but because we feel more comfortable talking about them with our siblings.

I see my daughter playing silly games with her nanny. This is the girl who has been with us for the past 2 years. She has fed my daughter, bathed her and even cleaned her. My daughter sleeps with her on her mat, and sometimes eats off the same plate. My daughter plays teacher-student with her, where she becomes the teacher and the nanny her student. She has taught her alphabets and how to write her name in English. And, sometimes also reads her stories (I am not sure how much our Nanny who doesn’t understand English understands it though) from her story books.

They are not related by blood, but there is a special bond between the two. And, hence, it’s to her, my daughter tells her who is the bully of the class, who she will marry when she grows up, who are her favourite friends in the classroom and so on.

Now, I have come to accept that there will be things that she will share exclusively with her nanny. And, that’s alright. We all have different people in our life with whom we share different kind of information. If the nanny is one such kind in my daughter’s life, then let it be.

Nursery Rhymes Made More Fun For Your Toddler With Chu Chu TV

I started playing nursery rhymes for my daughter very early. I might have started as soon as she was born. I had read somewhere that music is the best way to connect with kids. So, apart from singing lullabies and songs to her, I also sang nursery rhymes to her. And, she loved it. When she was 6 months old and started sitting on her, I showed her nursery rhymes while I engaged myself in various household chores. I remember I showed her a video of 30 minutes and she sat through it the entire time. She loved it. It was the same video that I played for her every day, till she got bored of it. Luckily, I found another video that had more rhymes, and she lapped it up too.

Today, the choices are many, and one better than the other. In a gamut of nursery rhymes that you find online, I recently came across nursery rhymes by Chu Chu TV. When I clicked on one of its videos on YouTube – a popular rhyme ‘Head shoulders knees and toes” – I discovered it was a traditional rhyme that we have grown up listening to, with different animations, of course.

However, immediately, I came across another rhyme by the same name. I clicked on it and found the song was done differently – though the words were the same, the music and the animation were different.

On listening to more videos, I discovered that there were rhymes that were done in their traditional avtaar, and were also given a slight twist by changing the lyrics. For instance, go through this rhyme “Johny Johny, Yes Papa” done brilliantly in two different versions and you will understand what I am saying.

The traditional way –

The Chu Chu TV way –

And, I must say, both are equally good and appealing. I showed it to my neighbour’s daughter who is 2 years old, and she enjoyed both the versions (and now knows them by heart). She loved the videos so much that she started visiting my house every day in the evening and urged me to start rhymes for her, until one day her mommy found out about Chu Chu TV from me and started playing them for her. Needless to say, she is a big fan of all the videos on Chu Chu TV.

The team has smartly picked up the most peppy numbers that are loved by little kids all over the world, and worked on them to create beautiful videos. Not only these videos educate, but also entertain and engage toddlers who watch them.

I found the animation of nursery rhymes on Chu Chu TV quite unique. No two videos in the 100 odd rhymes are same. They also have a series of educational videos, that teaches kids about colours, opposites, shapes, etc.

I am sure your child will love it, as my neighbour’s toddler did.

Chu Chu TV also has a mobile app for both IOS and Android users.